Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Film Review

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Director: Steven Spielberg

“If you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library!”

★☆☆☆☆

After a long hiatus, it was a sad experience to sit down and watch the once-gritty, hard-edged but heroic Indiana Jones be degraded into this cartoonish CGI-infused movie that brought Spielberg and Lucas together, sadly, with apparently little regard for classic serials which had once so brilliantly characterized the original movie. Like many other once-successful franchises, Indiana Jones was sacrificed in order to bilk a lot of people out money. When you watch the movie it looks like many scenes feature real actors standing in front of green screens, but most of the rest was left to the special effects crew to fill in the gaps. As quickly as the opening scene in the film, it becomes patently apparent that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is little more than a pocket-liner for a group of already obscenely wealthy aging Hollywood legends. On top of that, this film will probably please acolytes of the odd New Age ancient alien theories, but otherwise I think the crossover of Indiana Jones into conspiracy-laden science-fiction land is a complete failure.

Surprisingly, Harrison Ford is one of the best parts of the film –he was in remarkable shape despite pushing sixty at the time (which is not to say he was old, but it would have no doubt been a challenge to swing and flip all over the screen like a young Douglas Fairbanks). At any rate, the film takes place during the Cold War (this time, the communist Russians are the enemies). It opens with a ridiculous scene of Indiana Jones bombastically entering Area 51 in Roswell (which is apparently the location of the big warehouse at the end of Raiders –an unfortunate and yawning twist). At one point, a box spills open revealing a part of the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders –a little wink at the audience I guess. Indy is then captured and placed in the middle of a faux neighborhood right before a nuclear bomb is detonated, but he locks himself in a fridge which flies high into the air crashing hundreds of feet away –somehow he survives this ordeal (this might be the worst scene in the whole film, but not without its competition).

Anyway, Cate Blanchett plays Irina Spalko, the Russian nemesis of Indy in this film, as she seeks to acquire an alien crystal skull and return it to a Mayan temple in order to harness its secret powers. We also meet Indy’s greaser son named “Mutt” (played by Shia LaBeouf) but together their dynamic is not particularly interesting. We also meet a babbling Harold ‘Ox’ Oxley (John Hurt) inspired by Ben Gunn from Treasure Island. Along the way there is a mind-numbingly campy jungle scene in which the group is chased by a pack of rabid CGI monkeys, as well as killer ants, and Mutt goes swinging from vines like Tarzan. For reasons that are beyond me, Indy continues along on his adventures with an openly traitorous double-agent named Mac, and somehow Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ends with aliens flying away in a saucer, and Indy marries his love from the first film, Marion (reprised by Karen Allen). There really is an avalanche of faults upon which to criticize this film, but honestly it’s simply not worth it. The writer and director clearly don’t care much about the movie, so why should we? Sadly, as I write this, corporate greed is once again intent upon squeezing the last gasp out of this franchise. Yet another Indiana Jones film is in the works amidst hoards of yawning audiences. It’s possible the film could surprise us all, but since the release date has been delayed at least four times, Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm’s intellectual property promises to pump out new shows and merchandise, and Kathleen Kennedy has replaced George Lucas on the project (just recall how the Star Wars sequel trilogy turned out) it seems we’re only just getting started with watching the Indiana Jones franchise being beaten into the ground.

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• Director: Steven Spielberg
• Screenplay by: David Koepp
• Story by: George Lucas and Jeff Nathanson
• Produced by: Frank Marshall
• Starring:
  • Harrison Ford…..Indiana Jones
  • Cate Blanchett…..Irina Spalko, a villainous Soviet agent in search of the power of the crystal skulls. Her character’s stern look and behavior was reminiscent of Rosa Klebb in From Russia with Love.
  • Karen Allen…..Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • Ray Winstone…..George “Mac” McHale, a double or perhaps triple agent whom Indy worked alongside in World War II, but has now allied himself with the Soviets due to his financial problems.
  • John Hurt…..Harold “Ox” Oxley, Mutt’s surrogate father and an old friend of Indiana Jones, with whom he lost contact with in 1937. He spends much of the film babbling incoherently after staring too long into the eyes of the alien crystal skull.
  • Jim Broadbent…..Dean Charlie Stanforth, Dean of Marshall College and friend of Indy. Broadbent’s character stands in for Marcus Brody, as actor Denholm Elliott had died in 1992. As a tribute to Elliott, the filmmakers put a portrait and a statue on the Marshall College location, and a picture on Indy’s desk, saying he died shortly after Henry.
  • Shia LaBeouf…..Mutt Williams/Henry Jones III, a young, motorcycle-riding greaser and Indy’s sidekick and son with Marion Ravenwood.
• Cinematography: Janusz Kamiński
• Edited by: Michael Kahn
• Music by: John Williams
• Production Company: Lucasfilm Ltd.
• Distributed by: Paramount Pictures