Stardate: 3111.1
Original Air Date: August 28, 2025
Writers: Dana Horgan & Henry Alonso Myers
Director: Jordan Canning
“We have to become Vulcan.”
In a first officer’s log, Una says the Enterprise is headed toward Purmantee III in the Purmantee system, a well-known vacation destination where the crew will be given three days of shore leave. Una, however, plans to continue working aboard the ship for some mysterious reason. Here, we are reminded of the various romantic relationships among the crew (La’an and Spock, Pike and Batel, and so on) but suddenly the Vulcan high Command reaches out to the Enterprise about a situation on the planet Tezaar, a planet which is not yet a member of the Federation and which does not yet have warp technology (thus the Prime Directive applies). However, the Vulcans already have a relationship with Tezaar because several hundred years ago Vulcans rescued the planet from collapse and outfitted them with a nuclear-based method to power the entire world. But now there is a critical issue with the nuclear power and the Vulcans are too far away to fix it. Therefore, only the Enterprise can save Tezaar. However, in order to do so, the landing party must temporarily transform themselves into believable Vulcans so they can be undetectable on the surface (using an updated version of the Kerkhovian serum from “Charades”).
The “four and a half Vulcans” in the landing party (Pike, La’an, Uhura, Chapel, and Spock) are beamed down to Tezaar and they instantly solve the issue before returning to the ship. But when they return, they are mysteriously trapped in their bodies as transformed Vulcans. Of course, there was some sort of error with the Kerkhovian serum. Naturally, the Vulcanized crew members all start becoming the butt of various jokes, highlighting the Vulcan propensity for logic and their social awkwardness. At the same time, Spock grows frustrated that he is no longer the most fully Vulcan member of the crew.
Predictably, Pike declares he and the others will not be transforming back from Vulcans into humans, and things go awry. Pike upends order aboard the ship and sabotages a meeting Batel and Vice Admiral Pasalk, Chapel suddenly breaks up with Dr. Korby because their relationship is “illogical,” Uhura mind-melds with Beto Ortegas and alters his mind, and La’an goes on a fanatical tirade trying to start a war between the Klingons, Orions, Tholians, and the Gorn. Things get so chaotic that Una contacts her ex-boyfriend, a Vulcan named Doug (Patton Oswalt), who just so happens to be a “katra” expert and who just so happens to live not far from Purmantee III. Una and Doug are both clearly still in love with each other. But since Una does not wish to reignite their “chemistry,” she lies and says she and Spock are married with children. It leads to a bizarre sequence.
In the end, Una’s lover Doug helps the Vulcanized crew members recover their katras (La’an who only recovers when she has a vision of dancing with Spock and remembers their romance). And the episode concludes with Batel being offered a promotion to replace the Vulcan Vice Admiral Pasalk in his position of leadership within Starfleet while the rest of the crew attempt to make amends.
My Thoughts on “Four-and-a-Half Vulcans”
Another quirky gimmick episode, “Four-and-a-Half Vulcans” is a cartoonishly silly episode that is offensively bad. Key members of the crew are permanently transformed into Vulcans and the whole situation naturally goes haywire. This is a compelling enough premise, but it quickly becomes a feeble story that makes Vulcans the butt of all the jokes, there is yet ANOTHER romantic sublot introduced (Una’s former lover Doug), and there are all sorts of low-brow sex jokes and retcons, from Spock lying to Doug, to Una joking about Spock having a big lirpa. It’s not even funny and hardly thought-provoking at all.
“Four-and-a-Half Vulcans” is a truly painful episode; it just might be my least favorite of Strange New Worlds. The premise is entirely predictable (members of the crew are accidentally transformed into Vulcans permanently), while the introduction of Doug is an entirely contrived deus ex machina that comes out of nowhere, and his solution to the dilemma happens entirely offscreen for some unknown reason. Tragically, I have to assume Season 3 of SNW was hampered by all the various Hollywood strikes of 2023 but I had far higher expectations for this season.
Star Trek Trivia:
- La’an mentions “Greerian cocktails” in this episode. Leek sorbet and Plomeek soup also make an appearance.
- Pike’s introduction over the opening credits is spoken in his Vulcan dialect.
- Chapel mentions the ancient earth practice of Kintsugi in this episode.
- A “big lirpa” weapon is mentioned in this episode.
- When lying to Doug, Una claims she and Spock were married with the full Diavian choir.
- Chapel makes Plomeek soup as a peace offering to Spock and Dr. Korby.
- When Una was a young lieutenant, she stole a shuttle and went to the Skaideion system to rendezvous with Doug where they skinny-dipped in hot springs and drank wine under the moonlight.
- There is a unique gag reel at the end of the credits featuring the Vulcan antics of Spock and Doug (Patton Oswalt).