Stardate: 3019.4
Original Air Date: August 20, 2026
Writer: Henry Alonso Myers & Dana Horgan
Director: Jordan Canning
“So basically, now we’re all puppets?”
The Enterprise has been heading toward the planet Vulcan where Spock is planning to spend time studying logic, but due to pirate activities in the region, the Enterprise has reduced its speed to ensure that Rizonian space is safe for travel. Meanwhile, Scotty has been obsessed with transporter experiments from far distances (Spock says Scotty’s latest simulation was 27,000 kilometers, 2,000 kilometers farther than the record). Scotty mentions that he wants to achieve a transport of 30,000 kilometers, and at present, the USS Witmere is 29,647 kilometers away. Plus, the ship currently carrying Declan Milder, the previous record holder and Scotty’s Academy rival. Scotty hopes to rub it in Milder’s face when he breaks the transporter record.
Meanwhile, La’an has been struggling with memories of the horrific events aboard the Griffin and she breaks off her situationship with Spock, while at the same time, he has been having difficulty quieting his mind. He calls up T’Pring to discuss studying logic and she agrees to join him on the Enterprise under one condition: that there be “no hijinks of any kind.”
There are concerns of Orion pirate activity in the Enterprise’s path, but Pike remains unconcerned because he has a new captain’s chair that is biometric (constructed by Pelia) and it can run different parts of the ship from its touchpads.
Anyway, predictably, when Scotty tries to beam out a little childhood puppet toy called “Little Ricky” to set the transporter record, a malfunction occurs (a “level five transporter accident”) and the whole crew is turned into puppets (not “Muppets”) but the only member of the crew who is unaffected is Spock since he is away on a shuttle at the time setting relay buoys (even T’Pring is transformed). This causes all manner of problems since the crew can no longer operate the controls with puppet felt hands and so Spock is being pulled to various parts of the ship, entirely overwhelmed by needing to do everything.
Pike speaks with April, who says he can send a ship in two days’ time. He asks the Enterprise to lay low for a while, but of course, an Orion interceptor ship called the Vo’nee arrives almost immediately, under the leadership of Captain Ch’Rol (pronounced “Crole” and played by Rachael Harris). And when Uhura accidentally turns on the screen during the communications, the Orions realize they can easily take-over the ship. Captain Ch’Rol and her crew quickly board the Enterprise and the one thing they need are the command codes which Spock knows.
During the chaos, some of the puppets are injured (La’an’s arm pops off, Pelia is cut in half and sewn bac together, and Pike is pushed out an airlock into space by the Orion pirates) but they quickly realize that their status as puppets prevents from them from dying or feeling pain… for some reason? Of course, Pike is not dead because, as Dr. M’Benga says, “space can’t kill puppets.” Pike et al somehow figure out a way to use their puppetry to their advantage (“absurdity’s kinda baked into the premise”) by unleashing an “emo explosion,” as Pike calls it. The crew of puppets organizes an attack on the Orion pirates on the bridge, supported even by T’Pring who has been irate up until this point (I’m still unclear as to why she had a change of heart), until Spock can reclaim the captain’s chair, and thanks to the new chair, he is quietly able to cancel the ship’s life support systems which removes oxygen and forces all the Orion pirates to blackout (the puppets survive). And after reviving Spock, they all go floating in outer space one more time before returning to their natural human forms (Scotty figured out a simple transporter reversal he calculated incorrectly the “quantum polyfill”).
But gotcha! This was all just Spock’s dream the whole time. He had been knocked unconscious during the transporter accident and it damaged his shuttle and several buoys.
My Thoughts on “Level Five Transporter Accident”
The dreaded puppet episode… “Level Five Transporter Accident” is a bonkers, loony toons episode. In it, Spock is constantly on the verge of a panic attack as the entire crew gets transformed into puppets thanks to Scotty’s petty ego. This episode has so-painfully divided the Star Trek fandom and perhaps with good reason. When these modern Star Trek seasons only have 10 episodes, it’s hard to justify half the episodes being entirely unserious. I’d still rather re-watch “Level Five Transporter Accident” again rather than “Human Best Friend” or “Subspace Rhapsody,” I guess, but I wouldn’t look forward to it.
I should note there was one utterly offensive scene parodying the famous moment at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath Khan (1982), the famous scene in which Spock’s phrase “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” But it is so awfully done in this episode, it reminds viewers how little respect the writers have for Star Trek. Plus, the twist ending is one of the laziest examples of writing in a Star Trek episode ever conceived… this was all just Spock’s dream? With only 10 more episodes of SNW left, this is how the producers decided to spend their time? A ridiculous, meaningless fever dream that is of no consequence?
Wacky, goofy, silly, ridiculous? Definitely. But also, occasionally fun? Sure. But, unfortunately, at this point I feel somewhat exhausted by the wandering directionless era of “NuTrek.” I think it’s time to finally write-off SNW as little more than an amusing non-canonical Star Trek spinoff show. It desperately wants us not to take it too seriously and perhaps that’s exactly what we should do. My hope is that Star Trek will at least attempt to get back to writing slightly serious science fiction scripts in the future.
Star Trek Trivia:
- The puppets were created by the Jim Henson Creature workshop.
- Many fans have drawn comparisons between this episode and the TNG episode “Rascals” in which the crew are all transformed into children.
- Kal Rekk, the Vulcan of solitude and atonement.
- In Orion culture, women are the rulers.
- While trying to quiet his mind after recent events on the “ghost ship” (the Griffin) Spock echoes the same refrain while meditating: “logic is the rhythm of your katra.”
- When the Orions fire on the Enterprise, Ortegas exclaims: “Oh, my Fraggles!” This is an allusion to the Jim Henson show Fraggle Rock.
- T’Pring briefly mentions that Scotty failed to correctly calculate the “quantum polyfill.” This is an inside joke, also referring to the stuffing inside puppets.